Go Green! - Go Suck On A Fish.
Baby, tonight I have Harry Potter bedsheets on and I don't feel like explaining myself to you. I want a hug. Don't make out with me, just hold me like the child I still am. All I want is a security blanket wrapped around me.
I feel like my body is slowly dying. Well, I guess it is. But Z brought some knives over today and I want to say "Cut me babe, bleed me dry. Test your blades on my body." Obviously I didn't get to say it, but I wanted to.
Don't worry, I don't want him. I want... I don't want much. I want a smaller nose and firmer thighs. I want to dance the way I see it in my head. I want the Movers to say "Here I am, you're not that crazy because today I'll be real for you."
Did you see that? I'm not the only one. Anxiety creeps in the corners like theives in the shadows about to fall in. Blades glistening with my murdered sanity. Do I even have it? Did I start out with a sound body and mind?
Sound. Sound is the sound you make when everything is solid and hollow at the same time. Envision that. It's a pale ivory color, before it gets stained by the lies and sins and pollution of this earth. Not the industrial pollution (Go green! - Go suck on a fish.) The pollution that spews from every humans mouth and mind. Everybody contaminates each other. No wonder God flooded the earth.
Showing posts with label Death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Death. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
pull me down.
I thought of him today. I hate him. I hate the way he could pull me in every single time. I hate the way he could just look at me and I was his. I would always say yes to him.
Now I think of him and my eyes burn. My throat tightens and my muscles go rigid. I hate you because you made me hate me. The hate of self so destructive and so passionate, I think I hate myself more than I hate you.
I work hard to forgive you but it's hard when I want to put a bullet in your brain. Maybe right in your pretty face so no one else will be captured by your charm, your dark eyes, your lips. Maybe I'd save the next girl. Maybe I'd save you from yourself. But don't worry, I'd die too. Right through my black heart. Punishment for it wanting you.
I'm happy to say I never loved you. I'm happy to say I don't think about you all the time, but when I do I hate, and it consumes me. Someday I will get over what you did to me. Maybe someday I'll forgive myself for falling into you again and again.
Or maybe... right through your pretty little face.
Now I think of him and my eyes burn. My throat tightens and my muscles go rigid. I hate you because you made me hate me. The hate of self so destructive and so passionate, I think I hate myself more than I hate you.
I work hard to forgive you but it's hard when I want to put a bullet in your brain. Maybe right in your pretty face so no one else will be captured by your charm, your dark eyes, your lips. Maybe I'd save the next girl. Maybe I'd save you from yourself. But don't worry, I'd die too. Right through my black heart. Punishment for it wanting you.
I'm happy to say I never loved you. I'm happy to say I don't think about you all the time, but when I do I hate, and it consumes me. Someday I will get over what you did to me. Maybe someday I'll forgive myself for falling into you again and again.
Or maybe... right through your pretty little face.
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