I thought of him today. I hate him. I hate the way he could pull me in every single time. I hate the way he could just look at me and I was his. I would always say yes to him.
Now I think of him and my eyes burn. My throat tightens and my muscles go rigid. I hate you because you made me hate me. The hate of self so destructive and so passionate, I think I hate myself more than I hate you.
I work hard to forgive you but it's hard when I want to put a bullet in your brain. Maybe right in your pretty face so no one else will be captured by your charm, your dark eyes, your lips. Maybe I'd save the next girl. Maybe I'd save you from yourself. But don't worry, I'd die too. Right through my black heart. Punishment for it wanting you.
I'm happy to say I never loved you. I'm happy to say I don't think about you all the time, but when I do I hate, and it consumes me. Someday I will get over what you did to me. Maybe someday I'll forgive myself for falling into you again and again.
Or maybe... right through your pretty little face.
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