cold.

Wave after wave of depression hits me. This is my own fault, of that I am sure. Exiled by my own hand. I remember what you said, "Depression is a choice." Then I choose to be happy... I am knocked down again. Depression is in my blood. It swims up and around in my veins, tearing and singing it's melancholy song that resonates cold in my bones. I want it out. I want to be warm. Set myself on fire....

I'm so cold.

stay busy.

Went into work today. In the kitchen I opened the cupboard and rested my face against the door. So tired. I see a bottle of pain killers. How many would I have to take to...

I shouldn't be thinking like that. Close the cupboard again. Today I'll work extra hard to stay busy. A busy mind leaves no room for a negative thought. Negative thoughts lead you down to the floor bleeding and crying.

So let's stay busy today.
Stay busy today.
today.

get through today.