Turkey Day Basking
I see all these effing colors on the screen that make up this white page that looks at me. Blues, reds, a barf orange color. I wonder if people ever have orange barf and its all super bright.
It doesn't matter, I haven't barfed in a while. I have feelings tonight, tomorrow being thanksgiving. I am thankful for the good things that I have. I like to say thank you for my problems too.
Thank you that I have something to fix, something to worry about, something to figure out. Something to make me feel so sad that I feel like dying. Thank you, because if I had never had any of those kinds of experiences and felt that kind of pain, what would we have to compare our joys too?
If we were happy all the time, if nothing went wrong, then we wouldn't be as thankful for our happiness. We wouldn't be able to feel the happy side of the spectrum if there is no opposite side.
Thank you for letting me hurt and cry, bleed and scream, burn with rage and hold myself and beg for the end. Because now I can smile, and bask in the simple joy of it. Smile and say thank you.
Showing posts with label Flying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Flying. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
11/09/10
White-Knuckled Driving
Ooh its rage, baby, that lights me up inside, makes me burn. Jaw set tight and fingers grip the wheel. White knuckles like back when I was starting to drive. Stare straight forward, don't you say a word. I can handle an awkward silence, can you?
When you're placed there with the decision, to do or not to do? You usually do. Or at least I. I, with my passion, my lust, my fire that seems unquenchable, untameable. I hope those are real words.
Creativity likes to dance around me. Through my head, sparking an idea then back out my fingertips before I have time to trap it into media. It teases and agitates me. Body, don't you disobey me, don't be temperamental."I don't feel like it today". Well too bad, I'm picking up the pencil so you better get started.
I'm feeling that restlessness again. That creeping sensation that starts in the back of my head and works its way down over my body. Something new to explore? A mouth to taste? A road to walk, or drive, in my case. I'm not allowed to walk by myself.
So now when you're holding on to wrist, no, my ankle. Dragging me with you, I want to fly, to keep walking somewhere new. This is not where I'm supposed to end up, I know that, so don't you dare glue me to my spot.
Don't you dare.
Ooh its rage, baby, that lights me up inside, makes me burn. Jaw set tight and fingers grip the wheel. White knuckles like back when I was starting to drive. Stare straight forward, don't you say a word. I can handle an awkward silence, can you?
When you're placed there with the decision, to do or not to do? You usually do. Or at least I. I, with my passion, my lust, my fire that seems unquenchable, untameable. I hope those are real words.
Creativity likes to dance around me. Through my head, sparking an idea then back out my fingertips before I have time to trap it into media. It teases and agitates me. Body, don't you disobey me, don't be temperamental."I don't feel like it today". Well too bad, I'm picking up the pencil so you better get started.
I'm feeling that restlessness again. That creeping sensation that starts in the back of my head and works its way down over my body. Something new to explore? A mouth to taste? A road to walk, or drive, in my case. I'm not allowed to walk by myself.
So now when you're holding on to wrist, no, my ankle. Dragging me with you, I want to fly, to keep walking somewhere new. This is not where I'm supposed to end up, I know that, so don't you dare glue me to my spot.
Don't you dare.
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